Ruse (copyright 2000, Kathleen Pilchowski) forward flow makes me jealous of the past my ways were so artless your eyes so devestating the tail of ice from my regard evoking warm radiation from before time. have I now become insipid? does the taste of me bring you to boredom? (when once I pressed you to tears) I take my blue salted beauty and smear it across the universe- "Blaze?" you say. "that's cheap" in a million years I only had months to aprroach my sun to admire it, to love it to shed my self in inspired attraction people saw me and admired me for a moment you- my sun- noticed me and rewarded my absolute terror with oblivion. Now I limp away like Galadrial I am diminished like Esau I am rejected my heart is a stone without substance I still am whispering into the night I am because you are. 11 April 2000 by Kathleen Pilchowski.